so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
