I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
