My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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