he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
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You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
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If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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