Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
