She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
