I can tuck mytits in my pants
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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