We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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