Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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