I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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