So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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