...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize