Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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