Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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