my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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