why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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