can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Randomize
