operation harelip BJ is a go
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
