Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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