i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf