1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.