Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
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It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
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That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?