As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
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You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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