You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize