At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
bring money and cleavage
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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