Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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