Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
