officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
