i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
