Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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