Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
