but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
