Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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