I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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