Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way