i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
should my penis look like a turkey
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
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