we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.