What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something