omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
