you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
