My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
