First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
