I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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