Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize