you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
