this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
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I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
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Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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