I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
