how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I need to align my fucking chakras
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