the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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