Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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