did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
