You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
