I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
