He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
