I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
