never play flip cup with pint glasses
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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