He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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