If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
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