Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
