Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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