remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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