Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
