he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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