So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
where does the pee come out of this thing
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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