I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
