I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
